I'm now celebrating four months of staying abroad without paying for accommodation. What does it mean? Is couchsurfing a magical thing you just have to discover and then start roaming the world for free?
Couchsurfing.
It's sleeping on the bare floor, on a mattress on the floor, in a double bed, single bed, in the same bed with strangers. It's sleeping in a hammock, in a one-person sofa-chair, not sleeping all night and going on until the night after. Sometimes it's even sleeping on the piece of furniture the website gets its name from - a couch.
It's sleeping in a squat, in a 20 square meter attic, in a family home. Sleeping in a shared apartment of 6 flatmates, in regular shared apartments, in a tent. It's sleeping in a villa with a seaview, having your host leave keys for you when they're out of town and lend you their bed without even meeting you in person.
It's going on a fishing trip, going climbing, hiking, biking. Going to parties in houses of strangers, bar-hopping, swimming, running. It's spending 9 hours in the streets of an unknown city with two big backpacks, waiting for your host to get home from work and welcome you, with a home-cooked dinner, a bottle of wine and lots of love and support.
It's eating frozen pizza for 3 days, not eating at all, eating only beer, coffee and cigarettes. It's eating gourmet meals, eating in local street-food places that no tourist has ever set foot in, eating bread with nothing on it. It's always being out of clean clothes, wearing the same shirt 2,3,5 days in a row. Lowering your hygienic standards to "showering every third day isn't that bad, right?" And "these socks still smell almost decent! Time to wear them again".
It's meeting friends for life, meeting friends for two days, talking about everything in the world, being awkwardly silent, being sad, happy, stupid and embarrassing. Talking in different languages, hearing different languages, meeting people who speak 5 languages fluently and envying them. It's envying your hosts for their lifestyle, for their home and stability, and having them envy you for your lack of home.
It's meeting kind, huge-hearted souls, angry souls, souls that had been hurt. It's leaving a place with a broken heart, breaking other hearts, crying on the train from one place to another, crying in bed (or on the floor for that matter), feeling like life will not be able to continue correctly once you leave a certain person, it's wanting so badly to leave a host/place but staying for lack of an alternative.
It's learning how to cook a new dish and ridiculous food combos you would have never thought of eating. It's learning guitar, learning a song in a foreign language, learning a foreign language. Learning how to ride public transport for free and how to escape when you're caught, how to deal best with the local cops, how to sneak into a museum, how to get free food, free drinks, free smoke, a free car-ride, motorcycle-ride, a free bicycle.
It's being tired and unsure, going to a place without knowing where you'll spend the night, being tired, tired, tired, tired, never sleeping enough, never eating enough, it's sleeping too much and waiting in your sleeping bag with your eyes open for your host to wake up, it's eating and drinking too much and feeling like a bloated zombie the next morning.
It's sharing thoughts and philosophies, having a whole conversation about how to grow tomatoes, about the secret meaning of some song lyrics, about conspiracy theories, about Southpark. It's saying you definitely surely do not want to talk about politics, then talking about politics for two hours. It's watching prejudice and stigma shatter into pieces on the floor while understanding we are all EXACTLY the same, realizing anybody who thinks otherwise is crazy, not using the word crazy anymore because it's not cool and insinuates you think there is a clear line between sanity and insanity.
It's having people not understand your name and stop wanting to introduce yourself by it. Or? And that's short for what..? Is it like either/or? Is it from the Bible? How is it spelled? Why do all Israeli people have one-syllable names? How should I pronounce it? Could you remind me of your name again? I'm Paolo/Giulia/Sarah/Dani/any other regular, comprehensible name.
It's making pancakes for your hosts, buying them a round of drinks, buying them a used book, bringing a bottle of wine, monster-zucchinis from the farm, home-made jam from the farm, cookies. It's hearing them say they adore gorgonzola and then fill their fridge with 2 kilos of gorgonzola just for the heck of it. It's cleaning their house, leaving it dirty, leaving a note, forgetting belongings and then have them mailed to you. It's not knowing to answer the question "what is your mailing address?".
It's being "open-minded, easy-going, active, spontaneous, always smiling!". It's spending hours searching for a host and sending out Couchrequests and then getting 10 declines, 10 fascinating invitations, 10 no-replies. Losing your wifi and hence losing your host. Calling foreign numbers from foreign numbers, calling someone who left their number in their public profile, out of desperation, crying, and instead of them judging the crying stranger that you are, hearing them say "tell me everything, I'm here to listen". It's laughing so hard and for so long you think your eyes and heart will pop out. It's experiencing such happiness and bliss and generosity you feel like you want to wrap your arms around the world and hug it.
It's hugging goodbye, shaking hands goodbye, jumping on a train yelling and waving goodbye, kissing goodbye. After goodbye, feeling relieved, homeless, lost, tired, lost, abandoned, lost, grieving for every person who added a word, a phrase, a chapter, to your book and then kept walking into the unknown, leaving you an open, ink-stained, mess of a book.
It's learning how to say goodbye and stay alive.
